January Eleventh
by chrisco
Summary: The romance of a Malfoy and the youngest Weasley, as told through the humorous (in the author’s opinion) journalsdiarieslogsrecords of Draco, Ginny, and various Hogwarts students, including but not limited to, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, etc.
1. Hermione Granger's log

**From the log of Hermione Granger:**

8:00 AM

January Eleventh was the day that Hogwarts was flipped upside down. Not literally of course. It would take quite a strong Flippendo Charm for someone to actually do that. But still, Hogwarts has never been witness to such a scene since possibly the days of Salazar Slytherin and Godric Gryffindor or Tom Riddle or something. Honestly.

So, there we were, all of us. Just sitting there in the Great Hall. And Ginny walks in. That's perfectly normal. And then Malfoy walks in behind her. That's normal too. And then Ginny starts yelling at Malfoy. This, while a little less normal, is perfectly understandable because, let's face it, Draco's a git. So, still, everything's perfectly average in Hogwarts. But then _it_ happened. That's right. The completely unexpected and unexplained. And that description coming from a witch, is definitely nothing to scoff at.

But what exactly happened? I couldn't tell you. Oh relax, I'll tell you what I saw; I just don't know how it all came about.

So what happened, now that I've drawn it out as much as humanly possible, is this: while Ginny is yelling about what a git he is or something, Malfoy grabs her by the arms and full-on snogs her mid-scream.

I know. I'm still in shock.

But there's more: Ginny kissed him back.

I have no idea what to do. I need to shake some sense into her. She kissed DRACO MALFOY!!! Sane people don't kiss Draco Malfoy. Sane people kick Draco Malfoy. _Kick_, not kiss. Maybe she misread the memo. I should send her a new one.

Anyway, all of Hogwarts is reeling now. No one knows what to do. What do we do when the Ice Prince of Slytherin, the most hated and feared student of Hogwarts, kisses little Ginny Weasley, the loveable youngest Weasley child with six overgrown brothers.

. . . Although it was a little funny to see Ron's face throughout all of that. He looked like he was about to have an apoplexy. I almost fell out of my seat from laughing so hard. But then I remembered what my poor eyes were being forced to bear witness to on the other side of the Great Hall. That's right: the snog fest continued.

And suddenly, my stomach lurched from a reason that had nothing to do with amusement. Well, no, I lied. I was still laughing at Ron's expression—oh, give me a break, you would be laughing too if you saw it. But anyway, they continued to snog right up until Ron finally got a hold of that whole not breathing problem he was having and stood up and yelled, "Oi! Get your slimy tongue out of my sister's throat, Malfoy!" resulting in me actually falling off my seat for real and convulsing on the floor from hysterics. Now that I think about it, I probably should have been really embarrassed. And I think Harry was giving me this really weird look. Oh well.

And then, Ginny abruptly yanked herself out of Malfoy's grasp, blushing right down to the ends of her hair as redheads tend to do, and ran out of the hall. Malfoy then gave Ron this cold evil look as Slytherins tend to do and simply plopped himself down into his seat at the Slytherin table. Well, _plopped_'s not really the right word since Malfoys don't plop. They dignifiedly lower themselves into their seats. But whatever.

So, after Malfoy dignifiedly lowered himself into his seat, there was silence. Pure silence. Oh fine. Not silence. This is Hogwarts after all. A few of the stupid Hufflepuffs hadn't caught on to the scene that was going on right in front of them and were still talking, so there wasn't _complete_ silence.

But for approximately five seconds, Hogwarts was as quiet as it's ever been until Ron, bless his heart, made this strange animalistic growl of anger deep in his throat and tried to land Malfoy a fist in his beautifully formed gut. Tried, I say, because Snape, who always manages to find a way to twist every horror scene to his advantage, came swooping over Ron like an overgrown bat before Ron could cause harm to his favorite pupil. And before one could say "Mal-ferret," Ron had a detention and lost fifteen points to Gryffindor for "threatening grave injuries to a fellow student." Great prat. Snape, I mean, not Ron.

So, Harry and I had to tow Ron away from the Hall before he lost Gryffindor any more points that I had earned in Charms from knowing when Henric the Haggard invented the Jiving Spell.

And that's all I know about the situation. I swear.

To Do:

1.) Ask Professor McGonagall if it's okay if I wrote four feet more that I was supposed to on the interspecies essay.

2.) STUDY FOR N.E.W.T.'s!!!!!

3.) Knock some sense into Ginny.


	2. Draco Malfoy's journal

Okay, here's the thing: I already wrote the first eight chapters of this thing. And they're really short. Yeah. So, I can't make it any longer. But, I'd just like to say first, before I seem insensitive:

Whoa! People like this story! That's so exciting! Yay!

Okay. And . . . I'm done.

**From the, ahem, _journal_ of Draco Malfoy (and if you tell anyone about this . . .):**

8:00 AM

Dammit.

I just snogged the Weasel in front of the entire school. So, let me repeat myself: dammit.

I mean, yes, it was rather . . . _pleasant_. But, Weasels and Malfoys just don't mix. Although that just may have been true because previously the only Weasleys present were of the male variety. But female Weasels do not belong either. It's like the eleventh commandment: Thou shalt not allowest a Malfoy and a Weasley to intermingle—eth.

Or, if we do, we don't tell anyone.

I mean, yeah, I guess we have been "intermingling" for a few weeks now, but just for a few snogs now and then. Just to pacify our random teenage hormones. If we had gotten in a fight a week ago, I wouldn't have tried to apologize and calm her down. I wouldn't have snogged her in the front of the Great Hall at breakfast time.

It's like I'm her, I shudder to write this, _boyfriend_.

Shuddershudder.

And Malfoys are not boyfriend material.

I was just trying to shut her up. It's not my fault that it was a very boyfriend-y thing to do.

Shuddershudder.

And now I have to go find Weasley and apologize for being "an evil wanker." Seriously. She knows I'm an evil wanker. That didn't stop her before. I don't know why she's finally bringing it up now.

But now she's probably hiding out in the library like she always does whenever her great lumbering lout of a brother embarrasses her. It happens a lot. I'll have to go stop her from reading some stupid book about flobberworms or something. Honestly, if she doesn't watch out, she's going to morph into the Mudblood Granger.

I'm going go find her now. Soon. It's just, those redheads have terrible tempers. No control over them, either. No wonder the Weasel house always looks like it's about to collapse. If they can do that to an entire house, what do you think a Weasel can do to a single person?

Completely volatile, the lot of them. I mean, just look at her Lout, er, I mean, brother. He was about ready to murder me. Although, I must say, that was definitely a plus to the situation—pissing off the Lout. The only plus, though.

Oh, shut it, I'm a Slytherin, not a Gryffindor. Gryffindors are the ones who fight it out at the center of the battle. Slytherins are the ones who sit on the sidelines and laugh at everyone else. And I'm good at that. Laughing, sneering, smirking, all of that is second nature to a Slytherin.

That's why I don't want to go. It's not because I'm scared. I just don't want to turn into another Potter. The world has one too many of those already.

_Damn you, Potter._

8:13 AM

Er, right. Sorry.

Anyway. Stupid Weasel. Making me act like a Gryffindor.

Maybe I'll torture a few Hufflepuffs on the way to build up my strength.

8:16 AM

Wait a second. Why was she yelling at me in the first place?


	3. Ginny Weasley's diary

**From the diary of Ginny Weasley:**

8:00 AM

Evil wanker.

He can't honestly be that oblivious of his own actions, can he?

Well, sure, fine. We're not exactly "going out." And yes, he's Draco Malfoy, the spawn of Satan, with no emotions whatsoever.

But when he insults a Weasley, he'd best expect to be yelled at by his girlfriend, dammit!!!

Oh, right, we're not going out.

Still, though. We snog. We talk. We keep insults between us at a bare minimum. And really, for a Malfoy, controlling your insulting nature is like a normal person's declaration of love. I think it's safe to say that we are some sort of a couple, even if it's a dysfunctional one. And if that is the case, ONE SHOULD NOT GO AROUND INSULTING ONE'S SNOGGING MATE'S KISSING ABILITIES TO ONE'S FELLOW SLYTHERIN GIT-MATES!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, Draco, that means you. You are the "one" that I speak so generously about.

Damn you, evil wanker.

Because yes, I heard what you said to that prat Zabini.

Draco: The Weasel probably doesn't even know how to snog properly. You know what they say about redheads. Their bright hair just serves as a warning to keep anyone from getting too close. They probably can't even afford to snog properly.

Zabini: snickers stupidly Yeah, well that little Weasley girl. I could shag her.

Draco: more stupid snickers Well, sure, if you could look past the fact that she's practically a Mudblood herself and a Weasley to boot. Besides, she probably wouldn't even know what to do with herself if anyone showed any interest in her. She'd probably faint with shock.

Zabini and Draco together: snickersnicker

After that, I hightailed it out of there faster than Harry's broomstick in a Gryffindor/ Slytherin Quidditch match.

There are so many things wrong with that conversation. Not the least being the fact that Zabini just said he wanted to . . . make love to me, only in cruder terms.

Ew. Just ew.

And second of all, what do you mean I would "faint with shock," Draco Malfoy? I certainly did NOT faint with shock when you snogged me in front of the entire Hogwarts population, including my dolt of a brother, the other Slytherins, and the professors. I did NOT faint when you grabbed me, like some sort of rogue spirit, and kissed me passionately in front of all those people, as if you didn't care who saw us as long as you showed me you cared . . .

8:17 AM

Ahem.

I'm so sorry.

I—I think I need to go read.

Hmm . . . _The History of Horklumps: Horribly Misunderstood? Or Just Horrible? _. . . sounds interesting . . .


	4. Ron Weasley's record

Is it wrong if I have more fun writing from the viewpoint of the people who _aren't_ the main characters? Cuz Ginny and Draco are kinda boring. Ah well.

**From the record of Ron Weasley:**

9:00 AM

WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?!!!

My sister? And Draco wanking Malfoy?

HAS EVERYONE GONE MENTAL?!!!

No, Hermione, I will not calm down!!! You told me to write my thoughts down, so I will bloody well right my thoughts down in any way I want to! STOP LAUGHING!!!!!

You know, I really don't think this is all that therapeutic. When a man has to bear witness to his sister being snogged by the biggest git of Hogwarts, not once but _twice_, I think he has reached the point where no amount of writing about his thoughts is going to help soothe him.

Especially with one of his best friends laughing in the seat across from him and the other cracking jokes about redheads and their anger in the seat next to him. Yes, Mione and Harry, I mean you!

So here's what happened after we all left the Great Hall this morning:

1.) 7:45—We, meaning Harry, Mione, and me, walked down the halls.

2.) 7:50—Mione decided to drag us down to the library "to get a head start on the N.E.W.T.'s."

3.) 7:50—Me and Harry groaned in frustration and tried to escape. Unfortunately, Mione has a frighteningly steely grip, so we failed.

4.) 7:55—We arrive at the library. There seems to be no one around. Which is perfectly normal seeing as it was 7:55 IN THE MORNING!!!!

5.) 8:01—Me and Harry piled a bunch of books in front of us to hide us from Mione's hawk-like vision and promptly fell asleep while she was writing in a big notebook and muttering under her breath about Flippendo Charms or something.

6.) 8:45—Me and Harry were woken up to the shrieks of someone shouting, "What do you mean I'd 'faint with shock,' Mal-Ferret?"

7.) 8:45—The three of us ran over to where the shouts were taking place, hoping to see Malfoy get yelled at some more.

8.) 8:46—We realized that it was my sister who was causing a scene. AGAIN.

9.) 8:47—I died.

Yes, I died at approximately 8:47 this morning thanks to my suffering from two severe heart attacks in the space of one morning.

Okay, fine. So, I exaggerated. Don't make me go through my whole speech about how I can rant in any way I like to again. Cuz I will.

But anyway, thanks to the fact that Malfoy can't keep his SLIMY LIPS OFF MY SISTER, I _almost_ died, or at least went into shock.

Yes, that's right. Malfoy snogged my sister right in front of me AGAIN.

He's such a git.

Hermione tells me that Ginny snogged him right back, but I don't believe her. I saw no snoggage from my sister's side. IT WAS A ONE-SIDED SNOG!!!

Shut up, Harry. What do _you_ know? If you had just gone out with my sister like you were supposed to, none of this would have happened. And if you hadn't kept pulling me out of the way every time Malfoy snogged my sister, we wouldn't have to worry about me having a third heart attack, which doesn't look all that unlikely.

Damn them. Damn them all.

They have no respect for my health.

NO! I will not relinquish this parchment, Mione! I don't care if I thought this was stupid fifteen minutes ago. This thing is the only one that believes me.

Maybe I should stop.


End file.
